Simple tips on how to control anger

Posted on Aug 19, 2022      97

Anger is a normal emotion. But if you have trouble keeping it under control, anger can become a problem for you. Frequent displays of anger not only affect your relationships with people, but also your health.

Clinical psychologist Isabelle Clark, an anger management specialist, states that a person can control their anger, and they are fully responsible for it.

How to recognize the signs of anger

The heart beats faster, breathing also speeds up. In addition, you may notice other signs, such as tension in the shoulders or clenching of the fists. If you notice these signs in yourself and you’ve lost control before, hurry out of the situation.

How to control anger

How do you deal with outbursts of anger? Each of us has a physical response to anger. It is important to realize what our body is telling us and take steps to calm down.

Get enough sleep

Healthy sleep is an integral part of anger control. Lack of sleep causes fatigue, and fatigue triggers negative emotions. In addition, lack of sleep reduces the activity of the frontal lobes, which handle impulse control.

To summarize all the above, sleep deprivation can make it harder to control your angry impulses.

Breathe slowly.

Take a longer exhalation than an inhalation. Also, relax on the exhale. When we experience anger, we automatically inhale more than we exhale. And the trick is to breathe out more than we breathe in. This kind of breathing really calms you down and helps you think more clearly.

Look on the bright side

Relieve anger by considering alternatives to the situation at hand. Then ask yourself: “Is there a reason to be angry?”

Imagine, for example, that someone cuts you off on the highway. You can interpret this in several ways:

  • It was intentional - “He saw me and did it on purpose.”
  • It was unintentional - “He must not have seen me.”

For some people, anger can be aroused in both situations, but the second option causes less negative emotion. Try spinning the situation in your head to look at it from a different angle.


Meditation helps control emotions because it distracts you from the situation at hand.

Close your eyes and focus on your breathing until you calm down. Try to feel how the air moves as you breathe in and out. You can also count how many seconds your breath in and out lasts. Do your best to focus on your breathing and not touch the situation.

This brief break will give you time to gather your thoughts and perhaps see the situation in a different light.

Wait 90 seconds

When anger strikes you, keep in mind that it only takes 90 seconds to pass through your system. From the moment your limbic system generates the emotion to the moment the chemical reaction dissipates, a minute and a half passes. This time also helps you rethink what happened.

Engaging in creative writing to cope with anger

Writing a book, composing music, dancing, or painting can relieve tension and reduce feelings of anger.

Talk about how you feel

It's helpful to discuss your feelings with a close friend or someone you trust. It helps to look at the situation from a different angle.

Let go of angry thoughts

Try to put away unhelpful thoughts. Thoughts like “it’s not fair” or “people like that shouldn’t be out on the road” can only make anger worse.

These kinds of thoughts cause you to focus on the things that make you angry. Let those thoughts go, and you’ll find it easier to calm down.


Exercise can help you get rid of your anger.

  • If you feel that anger is taking hold of you, go to the gym, go for a run. Any kind of physical exercise will do.
  • Exercise is also a good way to get a dose of endorphins, the mood-enhancing hormones.
  • In addition, exercise can help relieve any physical tension in your body

Anxiety, Fear and Anger

Dr. James Woollard, a child and adolescent psychiatrist, states that sometimes when people talk about “anger,” they actually mean aggression.

Often people experience, or think they are experiencing, anger because in that moment they also feel afraid or threatened. And thus, in showing anger, they are responding by “fighting” to that fear or threat.

Ask yourself the question, “What can I be afraid of?” and it will help you choose a completely unique response to what is happening, avoiding anger and aggression. You may be angry that something didn’t go the way you wanted. But you may also be afraid of being blamed or hurt. If you are aware of this, you can think and act differently.

Bottom line

Anger is a normal feeling for human beings. The main thing is that you don’t feel angry all the time. Self-control will help you make rational decisions at difficult times in your life. Managing your anger is just as important as managing your happiness and feeling satisfied with life. It should be part of developing emotional intelligence and emotional resilience.

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